{"415931":{"#nid":"415931","#data":{"type":"news","title":"Hard to Say I\u2019m Sorry: How to Make an Apology","body":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003EPoliticians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize. Some do it well, and the controversy dies. Others botch the apology, causing the controversy to grow. What separates the good apologies from the bad? \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/www.iac.gatech.edu\/faculty-and-staff\/faculty\/bio\/burnett\u0022\u003ERebecca Burnett\u003C\/a\u003E, a professor in the \u003Cstrong\u003ESchool of Literature, Media, and Communication\u003C\/strong\u003E, says public apologies receive an abundance of press coverage when an event is catastrophic or a celebrity bungles the apology.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cBad apologies abound; they\u2019re insincere, offering too little, too late. Good apologies are rare; they\u2019re believable and begin to rebuild trust.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/scheller.gatech.edu\/directory\/faculty\/dhooge\/\u0022\u003ELucien Dhooge\u003C\/a\u003E, the Sue and John Staton Professor of Law in the Scheller College of Business, said apologies can be a tricky business.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cIn the words of the Elton John song, \u2018sorry seems to be the hardest word,\u2019 although it bears noting that simply stating that one is \u2018sorry\u2019 for a specific set of circumstances is not the same as apologizing for causing them to occur,\u201d Dhooge said.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EHe added that no one likes to admit that he or she was mistaken about a situation, harmed another person through his or her actions, or failed to live up to personal behavioral expectations.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cWe think of ourselves as more caring, sensitive, ethical, and better behaved than our fellow human beings,\u201d said Dhooge. \u201cApologies are an acknowledgement of our shortcomings and thus can be difficult no matter if it is in a personal or professional context.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ch6\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EWhat is the correct way to apologize \u2014 and make it stick?\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\u003Cp\u003EEffective apologies share several common traits. Burnett and Dhooge agree that sincerity, specifically a heartfelt and personal statement of regret, is at the top of the list.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cMake the apology genuine, sincere, heartfelt, honest \u2014 and work hard to make sure it is perceived as genuine by the various public audiences, which is difficult to do,\u201d said Burnett, a specialist in risk communication. She also suggests practicing the delivery to avoid losing track of ideas and appearing unsure.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAccording to Dhooge, \u201cSincerity goes a long way toward repairing the damaged relationship between the apologizer and the recipient. On the other hand, reading verbatim from a prepared statement or being surrounded by a bevy of attorneys and public relations personnel may have the opposite effect.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe timing of the apology also is important.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cOffer the apology early in the public information about the wrongdoing\/incident\/mistake\/accident\/event rather than delaying it by hours or days,\u201d said Burnett.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDhooge said, \u201cThe longer one waits to apologize, the longer the addressed harm has to fester and infect the relationship going forward. A delayed apology also conveys the impression that the apologizer was so insensitive as to not grasp the harmful nature of his or her actions or simply did not care enough to offer timely words of regret.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EThe apology also needs to be in \u201cplain English,\u201d said Dhooge.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cThis is not the time for management speak, customer relations jargon, or legal mumbo-jumbo, which often conveys defensiveness or a focus on the future when attention should be on the here and now,\u201d he said. \u201cThe apologizer should clearly describe the circumstances that necessitated the apology and express regret for their occurrence.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EIn addition, Burnett said the apologizer also should promise that the mistake will not happen again.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cDon\u2019t skimp and omit parts of the apology \u2014 acknowledgment of wrongdoing, acceptance of responsibility, expression of regret, and a promise not to repeat the wrongdoing,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd don\u2019t hedge or use weasel words.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Ch6\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ENavigating the Pitfalls\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\u003Cp\u003ESome apologies miss the mark and fail to resonate with the intended audience. One reason is that the apologizer expects to be forgiven.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cThe apologizer may seek forgiveness, but there is no guarantee that the apology will be accepted,\u201d Dhooge said. \u201cStated another way, simply making an apology does not entitle one to forgiveness. Some apologizers lose track of this point and thus cannot understand why their apologies fell flat.\u201d\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDhooge said the expectation of immediate exoneration is unrealistic. \u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u0022Acceptance and forgiveness are only granted by the recipient and cannot be demanded by the apologizer,\u201d he said.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EAvoiding the \u201cI want to apologize\u201d trap is also critical.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cLanguage should be taken at face value,\u201d said Dhooge. \u201cStating that one wants to [apologize] is not actually doing it. \u2018Wanting\u2019 to do something and actually \u2018doing\u2019 something are two different concepts altogether,\u201d he said.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp\u003EBurnett agrees that the language is very important.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cAvoid an apology that includes profanity; makes slurs against race, gender, ethnicity, age and so on; blames someone else (especially an underling); or offers excuses,\u201d she said.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003EDelivering a strong apology can be hard to do. However, Burnett said that well-done apologies have distinct benefits.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cblockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u201cGood apologies may touch personal lives of victims, defuse public anger, satisfy a sense of taking moral responsibility, serve to make amends (or begin that process), ameliorate litigation, and begin to resolve the problem.\u0022\u003C\/p\u003E\u003C\/blockquote\u003E\u003Cp\u003E\u003Cem\u003EThis article edited from an \u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/www.news.gatech.edu\/2015\/06\/22\/hard-say-i%E2%80%99m-sorry-how-make-apology\u0022\u003Eoriginal article\u003C\/a\u003E generated by the Georgia Tech News Center\u003C\/em\u003E\u003C\/p\u003E","summary":null,"format":"limited_html"}],"field_subtitle":"","field_summary":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003EPoliticians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize. Rebecca Burnett (LMC) discusses what separates the good apologies from the bad.\u003C\/p\u003E","format":"limited_html"}],"field_summary_sentence":[{"value":"Politicians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize. Rebecca Burnett (LMC) discusses what separates the good apologies from the bad."}],"uid":"27713","created_gmt":"2015-06-22 14:28:05","changed_gmt":"2016-10-08 03:18:41","author":"Victor Rogers","boilerplate_text":"","field_publication":"","field_article_url":"","dateline":{"date":"2015-06-22T00:00:00-04:00","iso_date":"2015-06-22T00:00:00-04:00","tz":"America\/New_York"},"extras":[],"hg_media":{"416971":{"id":"416971","type":"image","title":"Hard to Say I\u0027m Sorry","body":null,"created":"1449254269","gmt_created":"2015-12-04 18:37:49","changed":"1475895155","gmt_changed":"2016-10-08 02:52:35","alt":"Hard to Say I\u0027m Sorry","file":{"fid":"202568","name":"apology-crop.jpg","image_path":"\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg","image_full_path":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg","mime":"image\/jpeg","size":705198,"path_740":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/740xx_scale\/public\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg?itok=LgjuIeGK"}},"279161":{"id":"279161","type":"image","title":"Rebecca Burnett","body":null,"created":"1449244168","gmt_created":"2015-12-04 15:49:28","changed":"1475894953","gmt_changed":"2016-10-08 02:49:13","alt":"Rebecca Burnett","file":{"fid":"198864","name":"rebecca_burnett-1960x3008-lcc_copy.jpg","image_path":"\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/rebecca_burnett-1960x3008-lcc_copy_0.jpg","image_full_path":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/rebecca_burnett-1960x3008-lcc_copy_0.jpg","mime":"image\/jpeg","size":836938,"path_740":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/740xx_scale\/public\/images\/rebecca_burnett-1960x3008-lcc_copy_0.jpg?itok=XJ21kk-3"}}},"media_ids":["416971","279161"],"groups":[{"id":"1281","name":"Ivan Allen College of Liberal Arts"}],"categories":[{"id":"129","name":"Institute and Campus"},{"id":"139","name":"Business"}],"keywords":[{"id":"129171","name":"apology"},{"id":"955","name":"ivan allen college"},{"id":"129201","name":"Ludien Dhooge"},{"id":"3752","name":"rebecca burnett"},{"id":"169693","name":"Scheller College"},{"id":"167943","name":"School of Literature Media and Communication"}],"core_research_areas":[],"news_room_topics":[],"event_categories":[],"invited_audience":[],"affiliations":[],"classification":[],"areas_of_expertise":[],"news_and_recent_appearances":[],"phone":[],"contact":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022mailto:victor.rogers@comm.gatech.edu\u0022\u003EVictor Rogers\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EInstitute Communications\u003Cbr \/\u003E404.894.6398\u003C\/p\u003E","format":"limited_html"}],"email":["victor.rogers@comm.gatech.edu"],"slides":[],"orientation":[],"userdata":""}}}