{"417211":{"#nid":"417211","#data":{"type":"news","title":"Hard to Say I\u2019m Sorry: How to Make an Apology","body":[{"value":"\u003Cp class=\u0022p1\u0022\u003EPoliticians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize. Some do it well, and the controversy dies. Others botch the apology, causing the controversy to grow. What separates the good apologies from the bad? \u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E\u201cPublic apologies get a lot of press when an event is catastrophic or when a celebrity bungles an apology,\u201d said \u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/www.iac.gatech.edu\/faculty-and-staff\/faculty\/bio\/burnett\u0022\u003ERebecca Burnett\u003C\/a\u003E, Class of 1958 Professor of Rhetoric and director, Writing and Communication Program in the School of Literature, Media, and Communication. \u201cBad apologies abound; they\u2019re insincere, offering too little, too late,\u201d she said. \u201cGood apologies are rare; they\u2019re believable and begin to rebuild trust.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u003Ca href=\u0022http:\/\/scheller.gatech.edu\/directory\/faculty\/dhooge\/\u0022\u003ELucien Dhooge\u003C\/a\u003E, the Sue and John Staton Professor of Law in the Scheller College of Business, said apologies can be a tricky business.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cIn the words of the Elton John song, \u2018sorry seems to be the hardest word,\u2019 although it bears noting that simply stating that one is \u2018sorry\u2019 for a specific set of circumstances is not the same as apologizing for causing them to occur,\u201d Dhooge said.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E He added that no one likes to admit that he or she was mistaken about a situation, harmed another person through his or her actions, or failed to live up to personal behavioral expectations.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cWe think of ourselves as more caring, sensitive, ethical, and better behaved than our fellow human beings,\u201d said Dhooge. \u201cApologies are an acknowledgement of our shortcomings and thus can be difficult no matter if it is in a personal or professional context.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ch6 class=\u0022p6\u0022\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003EWhat is the correct way to apologize \u2014 and make it stick?\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p6\u0022\u003EEffective apologies share several common traits. Burnett and Dhooge agree that sincerity, specifically a heartfelt and personal statement of regret, is at the top of the list.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cMake the apology genuine, sincere, heartfelt, honest \u2014 and work hard to make sure it is perceived as genuine by the various public audiences, which is difficult to do,\u201d said Burnett. She also suggests practicing the delivery to avoid losing track of ideas and appearing unsure.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E According to Dhooge, \u201cSincerity goes a long way toward repairing the damaged relationship between the apologizer and the recipient. On the other hand, reading verbatim from a prepared statement or being surrounded by a bevy of attorneys and public relations personnel may have the opposite effect.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E The timing of the apology also is important.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cOffer the apology early in the public information about the wrongdoing\/incident\/mistake\/accident\/event rather than delaying it by hours or days,\u201d said Burnett.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E Dhooge said, \u201cThe longer one waits to apologize, the longer the addressed harm has to fester and infect the relationship going forward. A delayed apology also conveys the impression that the apologizer was so insensitive as to not grasp the harmful nature of his or her actions or simply did not care enough to offer timely words of regret.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E The apology also needs to be in \u201cplain English,\u201d said Dhooge.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cThis is not the time for management speak, customer relations jargon, or legal mumbo-jumbo, which often conveys defensiveness or a focus on the future when attention should be on the here and now,\u201d he said. \u201cThe apologizer should clearly describe the circumstances that necessitated the apology and express regret for their occurrence.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E In addition, Burnett said the apologizer also should promise that the mistake will not happen again.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cDon\u2019t skimp and omit parts of the apology \u2014 acknowledgment of wrongdoing, acceptance of responsibility, expression of regret, and a promise not to repeat the wrongdoing,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd don\u2019t hedge or use weasel words.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Ch6 class=\u0022p6\u0022\u003E\u003Cstrong\u003ENavigating the Pitfalls\u003C\/strong\u003E\u003C\/h6\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p6\u0022\u003ESome apologies miss the mark and fail to resonate with the intended audience. One reason is that the apologizer expects to be forgiven.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cThe apologizer may seek forgiveness, but there is no guarantee that the apology will be accepted,\u201d Dhooge said. \u201cStated another way, simply making an apology does not entitle one to forgiveness. Some apologizers lose track of this point and thus cannot understand why their apologies fell flat.\u201d\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E Dhooge said the expectation of immediate exoneration is unrealistic.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cAcceptance and forgiveness are only granted by the recipient and cannot be demanded by the apologizer,\u201d he said.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E Avoiding the \u201cI want to apologize\u201d trap is also critical.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cLanguage should be taken at face value,\u201d said Dhooge. \u201cStating that one wants to [apologize] is not actually doing it. \u2018Wanting\u2019 to do something and actually \u2018doing\u2019 something are two different concepts altogether,\u201d he said.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E Burnett agrees that the language is very important.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cAvoid an apology that includes profanity; makes slurs against race, gender, ethnicity, age and so on; blames someone else (especially an underling); or offers excuses,\u201d she said.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E Delivering a strong apology can be hard to do. However, Burnett said that well-done apologies have distinct benefits.\u003C\/p\u003E\u003Cp class=\u0022p5\u0022\u003E \u201cGood apologies may touch personal lives of victims, defuse public anger, satisfy a sense of taking moral responsibility, serve to make amends (or begin that process), ameliorate litigation, and begin to resolve the problem,\u201d she said.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E","summary":null,"format":"limited_html"}],"field_subtitle":"","field_summary":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003EPoliticians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize.\u0026nbsp;\u003C\/p\u003E","format":"limited_html"}],"field_summary_sentence":[{"value":"Politicians, corporate executives, and celebrities often find themselves in trouble and feel the need to apologize. Rebecca Burnett (LMC) discusses what separates the good apologies from the bad."}],"uid":"27469","created_gmt":"2015-06-22 14:14:52","changed_gmt":"2016-10-08 03:18:41","author":"Kristen Bailey","boilerplate_text":"","field_publication":"","field_article_url":"","dateline":{"date":"2015-06-22T00:00:00-04:00","iso_date":"2015-06-22T00:00:00-04:00","tz":"America\/New_York"},"extras":[],"hg_media":{"416971":{"id":"416971","type":"image","title":"Hard to Say I\u0027m Sorry","body":null,"created":"1449254269","gmt_created":"2015-12-04 18:37:49","changed":"1475895155","gmt_changed":"2016-10-08 02:52:35","alt":"Hard to Say I\u0027m Sorry","file":{"fid":"202568","name":"apology-crop.jpg","image_path":"\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg","image_full_path":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/\/sites\/default\/files\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg","mime":"image\/jpeg","size":705198,"path_740":"http:\/\/www.tlwarc.hg.gatech.edu\/sites\/default\/files\/styles\/740xx_scale\/public\/images\/apology-crop_0.jpg?itok=LgjuIeGK"}}},"media_ids":["416971"],"related_links":[{"url":"http:\/\/scheller.gatech.edu\/","title":"College of Management"},{"url":"http:\/\/iac.gatech.edu\/","title":"Ivan Allen College"}],"groups":[{"id":"1214","name":"News Room"}],"categories":[{"id":"129","name":"Institute and Campus"},{"id":"139","name":"Business"}],"keywords":[{"id":"129171","name":"apology"},{"id":"955","name":"ivan allen college"},{"id":"129551","name":"Lucien Dhooge"},{"id":"3752","name":"rebecca burnett"},{"id":"169693","name":"Scheller College"},{"id":"167943","name":"School of Literature Media and Communication"}],"core_research_areas":[],"news_room_topics":[{"id":"71871","name":"Campus and Community"}],"event_categories":[],"invited_audience":[],"affiliations":[],"classification":[],"areas_of_expertise":[],"news_and_recent_appearances":[],"phone":[],"contact":[{"value":"\u003Cp\u003E\u003Ca href=\u0022mailto:victor.rogers@comm.gatech.edu\u0022\u003EVictor Rogers\u003C\/a\u003E\u003Cbr \/\u003EInstitute Communications\u003Cbr \/\u003E404-894-6398\u003C\/p\u003E","format":"limited_html"}],"email":[],"slides":[],"orientation":[],"userdata":""}}}